Day 2
My watch vibrated and woke me up
at 530am and it felt refreshing but I was still tired and sleepy. As usual I
packed everything up and got out of the room. I made myself a mixture of instant oat and chocolate malt for a
quick breakfast before heading out for a half-hearted jog. It was just a cool
down walk and jog for 30 minutes which I was able to clock in about 3km.
Back in the office I had a cup of
kopi-o without sugar in the hope to
keep staying awake at work. It doesn’t help much to be honest but neither did I
sneak in a sleep during work. It was a bit of s struggle to get through the day
at work. Had a cup of longan juice
for lunch to boost awareness during tea at 330pm and it was super sweet. My
business is the furnishing industry sometimes requires me to move furniture
around for display purposes. So today I rearranged to store a little bit that
has officially drained my energy for the day and still meeting up with an old
friend later.
At 845pm I met up with an old
friend since secondary school. We had a good chat and a good laugh. Dinner was
on him as he insisted on it. Had a bowl of mala noodles with just a cup of warm
water on top of the dinner I had at 6pm. By the time I reached home it was 10pm
already. Did my usual ritual of cleaning up and doing some laundry while my
warm milk simmer in the milk warmer my Mrs got from her aunt. I am now drinking
that cup of milk while I am doing this entry. Hopefully to go to bed before
11pm. Wish me luck!
My aim to sleep by 11pm was
awaken by a noise that came from an unknown place. Still unable to sleep that
is 1120pm now. But aim still goes to wake up at 530am.
It is now 1 am and I am as alert
as can be. I fell asleep briefly at 12 midnight until I woke up suddenly without any interference. I have no idea what kept me awake. But now it is nearly 1am and I
am really alert. My eyes are really tired and body feels exhausted. But
whenever I lay down, the brains refuses to shut down and keeps me awake.
Whenever the urge to fall asleep kicks in, it gets me up again as if something
is too scary to make me fall asleep. Is it a sign that my body is telling me
that I might not wake up again tomorrow if I sleep?
It is a disaster. I could’t sleep
at all tonight. It is now 5am. Half an hour left before my wake up time. My
head hurts and my eyes are so heavy. I don’t know what to type here anymore.
But my rituals has failed. I need help.
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